June 05, 2009

The Rizps Are Coming

This is a horror story. The kind that rattles you and keeps you awake at night wondering if a Rizp will come and crush your skull. Because the Rizps are brain eaters. Because Rizps kill you slowly and painfully. Because there might be a Rizp in your neighborhood, watching you through your half-closed curtains. And waiting.

On Friday the 13th, dark stormy clouds raced threateningly across the sky. A sinister wind rattled the windows, drowning out the high-pitched screams issuing from the musty classroom. For the janitor had just seen the blood. It fell on his thumb, the first drop feeling fresh and warm. The next drop fell into his mouth, and unwillingly he tasted it. Thick human blood. As he looked up at the roof, a shower of clotted mucus, blood and various organs fell on him. The Rizps always entertained before they killed, you see.

The next morning, the newspaper headlines read: “Janitor dies under mysterious circumstances. Only his brain found to be missing, the body damaged almost beyond recognition.” The Rizps laughed evilly in their triumph. Their hide-out was a mess, with squishy leftover brain pieces everywhere and walls splattered in violent blotches of red. There were still a few hours before the next Brain & Bloodbath Special. So, they were content. But not for very long. Never for long.

That afternoon, Mrs. Louise Jonas was at the mall. About one hour back, ever since she watched her husband drive away to work, she had felt a presence. A chilling, ominous presence that threatened to suffocate her. To get away and shake off the feeling, she decided to do what she did best, shop. How would she know that it was the very last trip to the mall she would take? She didn't, but the Rizps sure did. And they knew it was good.
She really liked this dress. It was a strappy, low-backed affair, and made her look kind of sexy. It was certainly slimming. She checked again to make sure the trial room door was properly latched and preened in front of the mirror. When she was done, she started to take the dress off. The Rizps watched her undress with glee. Now it wouldn't be hard to drain the blood from her aorta and suck out her brain. They always found those wretched zippers and buttons confusing.

Louise fell to the floor, dazed. She didn't know what hit her. As she watched in horror, a gaping hole appeared in her chest and blood gushed out like a miniature chocolate fountain. Then she saw them. The baby and animal skulls falling from the roof, covered in plasma and slime. She tried to scream, but the blood filling her throat and mouth choked her. The final image that burned Mrs. Louise Jonas' retinas was the sight of her still-beating heart lying in her left palm. Her skull was broken and her brain snatched without any further ceremony. Another senseless death, just another meal for the Rizps. Some more brain food. Brain food, get it? Ha ha ha. I really can't write a horror story, as you probably figured. I just wanted a good pun for brain food. LOL.

Getting back to the point, Rizps are real, trust me. And they are very interested in you. Actually, a particularly nasty Rizp is watching you right now. Don't be scared, it's too late for you anyway. Look behind you. Yeah, turn around. I'm already here. Goodbye.
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Lame? I agree. But I always loved the Goosebumps books, and I still get a little spooked when I read them :)... this is a just a small tribute to R.L Stine.