October 18, 2008

Underwater

I stand in this unexpected place, submerged to my chest in the chlorinated water. All outside noise dies away. I can hear only the roar of the small waterfall I'm under, and the sound of my quietly beating heart, pumping liquid through my inert body. Water above. Water below. Water within.

It falls in sheets over my mass of curls. My hair stands in two thick black ropes over my cheeks, covering all my face, except my nose that sticks out like the mast of a drowning ship. My vision is in parts. I can only see through chinks in the natural weave the hair forms over my eyes.

A song plays over and over in my head. Underwater, a favorite by Everclear.
It's not so bad down here, underwater
Once you get past the fear, underwater
Sense you through the haze, it's like a memory
I've been down here for days, have you seen me?

I wake from the slumber. My eyelashes stick to my eyelids in an uneasy heaviness. A small unquiet that is the alive part of me stirs. The beat quickens. I see. I see that it's a sunny day, almost blindingly hot. I see that I am burnt and unappealing to look at. I see that I am unmoved. My neck, wherever untouched by the flow, sweats profoundly. Water without.

I see two people sititng and sharing dark secrets, unaware of a world other than their own. Unhappiness will draw him to you like a drug and it will disperse its molecules throughout your bodies. You will share utmost misery and hence share utmost joy. Your energies will combine and equality will be restored. Water flows from a higher concentration to a lower concentration. Emotions work on physics laws too. A sigh arises from deep within. The unquiet is at work.

Shadows shift. It is noon. My eyes catch a sparkle. There it is again. It's my nose-ring, the white stone on it aflame. It lights up the center of my brain. There are countless sparkles in the brilliant sunlight now, a mini chain-reaction. The water above hits the water below, causing magnificent reflections all around me. Diamonds everywhere. My diamonds. Only I see them. Ephemeral they are, lasting a millisecond. Created for my eyes alone.
They are formed for my pleasure.
Brought into being by my raging desires.
I did nothing to deserve them.
But they are here, dancing a frenzy over my being.
And quelling my unquiet.
These are my jewels.
Mine, mine, mine.

You can never take them because they do not exist later. Only now. And I can keep the memories for free. They sing me a thousand lullabies and giggle with my deepest untouched soul. Matter is exchanged. Sparkles and darkness mix. The flow is harmonious, upward and onward. I am slowly lifted beyond feeling and sink into sweet sedation once more. Seconds are so dear, underwater.

Time to get out of the pool before people start thinking I'm a freak.

5 comments:

Maria said...

Beautiful. I too love water. It takes all that numbing pain away, doesn't it. Keep writing... :-)

sharath krishnaswami said...

wow! finally one piece that's kinda similar to the stuff i write. its nice. you do write on a wide array of styles...

The Crow said...

Yeah i just write randomly whatever I feel like LOL... it's not a set/rigid thought process..

thegreatestmidget said...

It's not by Everclear, it's by Vertical Horizon.

Crowscious said...

@thegreatestmidget I was high :P but I love them both so never mind :)

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